Notifications . . .

One of the least favored times of ministry as a chaplain is when you are called upon to perform a death notification. These notifications can happen for a variety of reasons, sometimes the deceased has been killed in an auto accident, or something of that nature. Ocassionally we are called upon after homicides, or police involved shootings to go with an officer or deputy to tell a family they have lost a loved one.
Last night I was called upon to deliver a message from another agency in a different part of the state that a man had died. Rather than a cold telephone call law enforcement agencies perform mutual aid avtivities such as this to make a hard message have a softer edge. Telling this father that his son had passed was not easy, but I am glad that he heard the message from a person and had someone with him as he steadied himself from the shock of the news.
My prayer today is that this father can have peace and comfort from God to work through this loss.

Buddy Gray

An unmistaken sound. . .

Sunday evening a few minutes into Dave Ramsey' FPU, a phone rang in the auditorium. My eyes rolled back in my head, thinking about the disturbance that had been created(much like the one I created on Wednesday night with my phone). The disturbance was followed by a look of tragedy on the face of the one who received the call. Pam Gonzales had just been notified. Notified that her son had been in an accident and not survived. Tragedy visited the meeting place of the Lord's people.
When I saw her face I new something bad had happened. She yelled to Lorenzo that they needed to go. I got there and grabbed her and hugged her. She looked me in the face and said, He's seeing God's face now. I nodded and said yes. Then the sound happened, a sound I have heard as a chaplain many times, the sound much like a wail and a sob combined. A sound that comes from deep within a mother's heart. A sound that means a part of the mother has left this world and gone on, thank goodness for Pam and family, gone on to be with God.
I was proud of the response of God's family Sunday. Many wept for the loss of Pam and her family. Many associated this event with one they had experienced in their own family. Many asked what we needed to do. We have to let Pam and Lorenzo experience the loss, that's what I repeated over and over. There are no words that fix this, all words seem trivial or even trite. We held them, hugged them, paced with them. We took them to a private room and let others come and speak their condolences. We called their family for them. Finally, we helped them get home, make arrangements to go to their son's and daughter-in-law's home in the mid west. We washed their dishes and helped them pack their clothes. By the way I did not do this alone, many people helped them in this time of need. Thursday we will lay Sean to Rest, then,Pam and Lorenzo will try to sort it all out. Thank God for the church who will support them through this tragic event.

I do not look forward to hearing that sound again, I am sure I will as I serve God and this community as a law enforcement chaplain.